Why do we suffer?
Sometimes I feel sorry for myself. Thoughts like, “It’s not fair!” or “Why did this have to happen to me?” cross my mind.
Do you ever catch yourself lamenting that same age-old question, “Why me?” I would be surprised if you said no. After all, if you’re reading this, you’re probably human. And every person alive has uttered those words, or at least thought them, at one time or another.
A better question to ask ourselves might be, “Why NOT me?”
What if going through various trials and troubles is why we’re here on earth in the first place? Don’t our greatest opportunities for growth and personal achievement often seem to emerge from the very challenges and obstacles we try to avoid?
We spend our lives trying to escape pain and anguish. But despite all of our efforts, suffering inevitably occurs anyway. Our own personal and unique “ring of fire” presents itself – again and again (and again) throughout our lifetime.
This makes me think that suffering must be an important part of our purpose, maybe even an integral part of our life journey. As much as I would prefer a kinder and gentler approach, overcoming adversity makes us stronger, smarter, and. . . well . . . just plain better people.
But WHY do we have to suffer?
- We think. Zillions of thoughts randomly roll through our minds every day. Unfortunately, many of these are negative or detrimental in some way. These thoughts all seem true. But since we don’t really have all the facts, many times they are merely our own manufactured “stories” we’ve made up. Sadly, our own misconceptions often lead to a lot of self-inflicted misery.
- We feel. Our perceptions and thoughts directly effect our moods and emotions. We may wake up feeling wonderful, but by the end of the day we feel miserable. Why? Because of how our mind interpreted our life that day. In other words, what we thought about it.
- We do. We respond to our thoughts and our emotions with our actions. We react based on our own assessment of a given situation or person. Sometimes these actions can lead to painful outcomes.
- We live. By just being alive in this world, we are vulnerable to accidents and natural disasters. We’re also subject to the spontaneous consequences of our own and other people’s choices, decisions, and actions, both good and bad.
- We die. We are mortal. Being made of flesh and blood means we’re not invincible. We each have a finite number of days on this earth, no matter who we are or what we do.
So if suffering is inevitable, how do we embrace it? How do we make it a GOOD thing?
- We think. Consciously manage your thoughts in an positive and productive way. Don’t let them control you. Observe them. Minimize the negative “stories” running through your mind. Try to be objective and honest with yourself when you notice they’re negative and destructive.
- We feel. Tune in to your moods. Be aware of your feelings and emotions. Did a negative thought cause you to feel sad or mad? Is your “story” causing you frustration or pain? Examine the thoughts behind your feelings. Accept them for what they are. They’re not the boss of you!
- We do. Once again, scrutinize whether your thoughts might be guiding (or misguiding!) you to act impulsively. Take a moment to make sure your actions are staying true to your beliefs and core values.
- We live. Accept that pain and distress is a normal part of life. Don’t try to flee from it or fight it. Meet it head on and go through it. Know for certain that just to be alive is a grand thing.
- We die. Your physical body is just a shell of the real you. Don’t be sad that you will eventually die. Be happy that you get to live! Dedicate your life to making the most of this amazing gift.
Our Journey to Palm Canyon can be exhilarating . . . or devastating. The choice is really ours. We can choose to be happy no matter what. Let’s use our pain and suffering as fuel for a meaningful journey. Our true talents and skills really will emerge when we’re faced with daunting circumstances.
Applying the principles of the island of Alumanaya has taught me that how we think about our life will determine what kind of life we have.
I choose to live with An Island Perspective – a positive, grateful and hopeful state of mind.
How have any of your trials turned out to be a GOOD thing?
About Renee
I think all of the trials end up being a good thing. . . .at some point! I just try to remember that God has a plan and a reason for everything. Eventually things work themselves out.
You are so right Stacy! It’s hard to remember that when we’re in the thick of hard times. It takes a lot of faith and patience. I try to remind myself from time to time when the “winds of life” are blowing that there are some things I can’t control. Once I accept that, it seems to help take the pressure off. Then I can try to react in a more positive way, something I can control!
Thanks,
Renee
Thanks for your words of wisdom. I woke up this morning with some really negative “sorry for myself” thoughts and yet I have sooooooo much to be thankful for. One plus to getting old- we are less impulsive and take more time to think things through! Your thoughts came at just the right time for me!!
Thanks, Rick, for sharing your personal experience. All of us are human and struggle with our negative thoughts every day. You were wise to focus on all that you are grateful for in your life. I’m so happy that my words were able to touch you in a positive way. There are no coincidences in life. It’s amazing how we receive just what we need just when we need it, if we’re open to it. Keep managing your thoughts in a positive way!
Renee
Renee, I love your thoughts and yes I feel we are here to learn lessons and our trials and so called tribulations do teach us strength. Anyone who is alive in 2010 in my humble opinion has guts and much courage just to be alive and the thrill of thriving can allow us to go beyond just surviving if that makes any sense. Thanks for your insightful posts.
Thank you, Stash, for your kind words. There is no doubt that life can be hard. That’s why it’s so important to manage our thoughts in a positive way. No matter what our situation may be, good or bad, it ultimately gets defined by how we think about it. And that’s something we can control. That makes me feel like I have some power over my life. Hope it does the same for you!
Renee
I just read a book a couple of months ago, “When Bad Things Happen to Good People.” Has anyone else read this book? It was helpful to me.
That is a great book! It’s written by Harold S. Kushner if anyone else would like to read it. He really does a great job of putting “bad things” and suffering in perspective. Thanks for suggesting it Cindy!
Renee
I don’t think that all trials are good or even necessary. However, I don’t have to believe that there is a good ending in order to deal with a particular trial. Though many negative things occur to “learn” something or on the way to something better, many occur without reason. Instead of hoping for a positive spin all of the time, perhaps it is better to accept that just as easily as something bad can happen, something good can, and neither may necessarily lead to something good and that is ok.
Hi Trudy,
I really appreciate your perspective. I agree that we’re probably better off not trying to judge whether something that happens is good or bad. Who are we to say? It is what it is. The bottom line is that we will all suffer at times. It’s just a natural part of life. We can fight it and complain that life isn’t fair. But what do we gain from that? By accepting instead of resisting the things we have no control over, life just seems to flow a little smoother. Living with a positive, hopeful frame of mind helps me to live a happier and more joyful life!
Thanks,
Renee